Reconnecting to the Why

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I often tell my friends when they are in a staring contest with change, that our life isn't meant to be a linear story. So often, we are painted a picture of of a life that goes from birth to partnership to co-creation to death. There is a start and an end, and our focus is to get from one point to the next. This can often lead us to stay on the same track, even if it's terrible for us. And I mean any track: career, romantic relationship, friendship, relationship with self. 

When something becomes particularly difficult, fight or flight kicks in and for what I am assuming is a lot of people, flight is a great first response. At least my brain thinks so. 

Straight to the disaster mind, the 'universal signs,' the end is nigh and pigs are flying. Panic mode. 

I felt all of those emotions in a particularly strong way last week, and a prompt that came in from a community I am part of brought me right back to where I needed. I was told to reconnect to the why. 

Why did I start this journey? What were the catalysts that made me do it at the time? Dig into my heart and remember what made me have the courage and enough trust in myself to go on a different path. Reconnect to the why. 

And it worked. I went into my tiny little working space. I looked at all of the things I've created. I literally repeated the phrase "reconnect to the why" over and over and over in my mind. I occasionally said it out loud. 

Items from my trip to Japan came into my line of sight. I saw my pieces again for the first time, and remembered that I really love this art, and I want to keep trying. 

I was reminded that a small set back was not the end of the story, but literally just a little sentence in the chapter. 

After indulging the fear with tears and chaos for a couple of days, I reconnected to the why and found my strength again. 

I know there will be more disappointment, set backs and failures in the future, so when I begin to spin out, just remind me of this blog post. 

Thanks and much love!

Sasha